


A Dream of an Old Chest

by KaCbo



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fix-It, Fluff, FuckTheLadyInTheLake, Hurt/Comfort, JamieA+Girlfriend, NotRatedYet, Road Trips, Smut, StopBuryingOurGays
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:34:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27533851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaCbo/pseuds/KaCbo
Summary: What if Dani and Jamie didn't accept the future they were given? If dreams carry messages, maybe they can carry a solution as well. During the years following the traumatic events at Bly Manor, both girls search for a way out of their tragic fate.
Relationships: Dani Clayton/Jamie
Comments: 24
Kudos: 112





	1. Chapter 1

The road was clear ahead of them, no traffic whatsoever. It should have been a pleasant ride, the rain falling lightly on the windshield, but Jamie set restless with her hands on the steering wheel. She did enjoy the silence, especially a comfortable one, but something was off with Dani since they left the manor a couple of weeks ago. The blond girl had been staring straight ahead for some time now, not paying any attention to Jamie next to her. She got it, or at least she thought so; that night at the lake had been a traumatic event for all of them, but Dani was the one truly affected by it. That faceless woman, walking towards the au pair, had given Jamie a couple of nightmares, so she could only imagine what it must have done to Dani. 

They had spent a few nights at Jamie’s place until the mood settled down and they were able to fly to the US. Dani had been very quiet then as well; she needed time, Jamie assumed. That was fine, she could give her time, as long as she was safe by her side. So silence endured for the days following the lake episode. They would lay in bed, sometimes with their feet touching and other times apart, and sleep would claim Jamie first. Dani spent most of those nights wide awake, too scared to close her eyes. What if she did close them only to wake up as someone else, as the Lady in the Lake? She saw Miles and Flora losing control over their bodies and being manipulated like puppets. Dani could not take that risk, not when Jamie slept next to her. So she didn’t sleep, simple as that. But the traces were there the next day, eyes heavy and tired, and now Dani fought to stay awake but the soft, rocking motion of the car made it very difficult. 

Jamie glanced at her. The girl had swollen eyes and a preoccupied frown from lack of sleep. From time to time, she would catch Dani dozing off, only to wake up with a fright as if someone had shook her awake. The next hotel was only a couple of hours away, and when they got there, Jamie would make sure she rested properly. 

“It’s fine. You can take a nap, I won’t be offended”, Jamie half joked. She really wished Dani would. 

“Oh”, Dani looked at her. It was as if she didn’t even notice Jamie there. “I’m ok… I’ll sleep when we get to the hotel.”

“Will you?”, Jamie said. 

Dani stared at her for a moment. “What does that mean?”

“I don’t know… You look like you haven’t slept in weeks.”

“Wow, thanks.”

“C’mon, Poppins, you know what I mean. I  _ am _ sleeping next to you every night.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Really?”, Jamie snorted. “And where am I supposed to sleep? The sofa?” 

“No”, Dani said and turned her eyes back to the road ahead, considering how to proceed. “Sorry, I know this is not what you signed up for.”

“That’s not true. I signed up for everything, even the bad bits.”

And it was true, Jamie was well aware of what the pinky swear entailed. She might not understand the whole monster in the jungle thing, but if that meant Dani would need someone she could count on, then she would be that someone. 

“Although, if I’m being honest, I could do without your tea”, Jamie completed, winning a laugh from her. “There we are.” 

Dani’s shoulders relaxed after that talk. Maybe she could close her eyes for a few minutes. Jaime was right there if something happened. She did sleep then, the whole drive to the hotel, to Jamie’s relief. They could work like this, if only Dani hadn’t to bear the burden all by herself. 

“Dani, wake up. We’re here. Dani!”

Her voice, although gentle, startled Dani. But soon enough she noticed where she was. It wasn’t the lake, neither Bly Manor. And there had been no nightmare; Dani slept for at least two hours without being bothered by horrific images, and it had been a blessing. 

“You hungry?”, Jamie asked, after making themselves comfortable in their small room. “I brought some snacks, or we can buy something downstairs.” 

“Not really”, Dani tried to suppress a yawn, unsuccessfully. 

Jamie caught on, of course. “Come here”, she said. Dani came closer, not taking her eyes away from the other woman's face. Jamie took her hands. “How about we take a shower and then you can sleep through the night?”

“I’m not that tired, Ja-”

“Don’t”, she cut her off. “You’re a terrible liar. Rest will be good for you, and I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

That was the problem, wasn’t it? Jamie would doze off and she didn’t know what could happen then. But she was, in fact,  _ so _ tired…

“C’mon, Poppins. I’ll help you”, Jamie stood up to whisper against her ear. Her hands slided around Dani’s waist, keeping her close. Dani felt her breath tickling the skin of her neck and sending a bolt of warmth down her body. “Let me help”, she repeated. 

Jamie brought their lips together in a chaste kiss. Dani’s scent clung to her, her clothes, her hair, her skin, they all smelled like her and it was intoxicating. Humming into her mouth, Dani deepened the kiss, their tongues intertwined, licking and tasting eachother. Her hands roamed Jamie’s body and found a place on her lower back; she could feel the sweat from the day spent on the road through her shirt. Since the night they slept together in Bly, they hadn’t really touched each other properly. Everything felt like too much, as if Dani’s skin was about to burst, so she kept her distance. Jamie seemed fine with it, never pushing too far, but now Dani could feel the want in the way she tightened the grip around her waist, the way her hips jerked forward chasing some sort of friction. And it became too much.

“I-”, Dani turned her head, avoiding her lips. 

“What?”, Jamie said while kissing down her neck. 

“Stop, Jam- Jamie, stop!”

Dani pushed her away, a little more harshly than intended. God, what was wrong with her? She wasn’t supposed to feel like this. It was Jamie’s mouth against her skin, it felt so good, she felt so good that night at Bly. Why not now?

Jamie’s face fell. “I’m- I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have-”

“No, it’s fine. I’m just- I guess you’re right, I  _ am _ tired”, she huffed. “A shower sounds good, though.”

“Of course, I get it... Do you want company? I won’t try anything, scout’s honor.”

Dani chucked at that and Jamie felt a little more at ease. 

“You were never a girl scout.”

“Oi! I could’ve been! The uniform would look great on me”, Jamie said, taking her hands once more. “You should’ve seen me in my prison uniform, Poppins. Khaki is just my color.” 

“Don’t go having any crazy ideas”, she smiled wearily, averting her gaze and staring into the floor. “Uhm- No, it’s fine. I won’t take long”.

Dani thought she saw disappointment flash across her face, but it was gone too quickly to tell. Jamie didn’t press the issue any longer, letting her enter the bathroom on her own. Steam rose from the old pipes, surrounding her in dense clouds. Her head felt light, as if in a dream; when the hot water hit her stiff shoulders she moaned. So many hours in a car left a dozen knots in her neck as well. She couldn’t complain, though; anything was better than the Bly Manor, or the life she had before that if she was being honest. Dani let herself enjoy the warmth for a little longer and when she came out, her cheeks were flushed and she felt a hundred times better.

Outside, Jamie had fallen asleep over the bed sheets, still fully clothed. She looked peaceful, Dani thought. They could use some peace after so much chaos. Dani approached her, trying not to scare the woman.

“Jamie?”, she whispered. “Hey, Jamie.”

“What? Oh- I’m up! I’m up!”, Jamie sat on the mattress, looking around. 

“Calm down. I’m finished, you can uhm- You can take a shower if you want.”

“Oh, yeah. I probably stink”.

Dani waited for her laying in bed. Don’t fall asleep, she told herself. You can nap in the car, during daylight, but the nights are not as forgiving. They would both be in the dark, Jamie and her, and there was no way of stopping if anything should happen. Her eyes fought to stay open, and she found herself slipping away, bit by bit. Stay awake, stay awa-

“The shower here is shite! Did you use all the hot water?”, Jamie came out drying her hair and paused as Dani was pulled back to reality. “Oh, sorry. Go back to sleep, I’ll- I’ll shut up.”

That was close. The frown in Jamie’s forehead gave away the worry she felt, which made things even worse. Dani didn’t want to be a burden, even though Jamie kept reminding her that that was not it; they were both in this together, as cliche as that sounds. Upon realising she would not go back to sleep, Jamie tossed the towel aside and came up to bed. 

“C’mon, scoot over, Poppins”, she did as she was told, but when Jamie joined her, she turned around, facing the wall. 

The room was quiet for a moment. She could bear that, if Jamie fell asleep, all she had to do was wait a few hours. She could do that.

“Well, night then”, Jamie’s voice rang in her ears. Dani didn’t respond but she could feel a pair of eyes staring into the back of her head. 

The room was dark. The rain had ceased an hour before, probably when Jamie was in the shower. A few cars passed by the hotel, she could hear them outside, but it was a quiet night overall. The slow breaths behind Dani kept her grounded. Once more and once more. They were close; if she turned around, she could fling her arm around her waist and pull her even closer, drawing Jamie’s back against her. She would hold her through the night and nothing else would matter. 

“I know you’re awake”, Jamie’s voice interrupted her thoughts. “You usually snore, but you’re not snoring now.”

“I don’t snore”, Dani finally turned around to face her. 

“I don’t mind”, Jamie was looking at her amused. “It’s cute.”

She was teasing her, of course. “I don’t snore… much.” 

“Whatever you say. So… What were you thinking?”, Jamie raised her hand to tuck a stray lock of Dani’s hair behind her ear. 

“Nothing. I-”

“Told you not to lie. C’mon, what’s on your mind?”

Dani didn’t avert her gaze this time and Jamie didn’t drop her hand, leaving it be against her neck.

“I’m- I’m scared. Of falling asleep and- I don’t know. Hurting you, I guess”, she whispered. 

“Hurting me? You’re worried you’ll toss around in your sleep and give me a black eye?”

“No! I mean, what if-”, Dani tried to find the right words, but each of them seemed wrong. “What if the- the thing, the lady is just waiting for- I don’t know, a breach so she can snuck into me and… Take me, completely.”

Jamie had to understand. The rage was still there, the awful sorrow lingering just inside her heart, waiting to take over control.

“Well, if that happens, I’ll kick your lady ghost back to the grave.”

Dani snorted. “How will you do that? She’s me and I’m her.”

“I’ll find another way. I can always tie you down to the bed frames.” 

The thought crossed Dani’s mind and made her blush. If Jamie saw it in the dark, she couldn’t tell. 

“I- That’s not- uhm… That’s not necessary.”

“We’ll hold that thought for later then”, Jamie smirked. “But seriously, answer me this. You said you can feel her rage, that she’s waiting in the jungle but- can you reach her? Is she close enough for you to reach for her?”

“I don’t know… I don’t think so. The feeling isn’t that strong.”

“Then you don’t have to worry, at least not for now”, Jamie stroked her cheek in a soothing motion. Dani sighed in return. “If you can’t reach her, neither can she. We have time, Dani. We have time to figure out what to do.” 

The caress pulled Dani into a limbo state, she wasn’t asleep but she wasn’t awake either. Jamie’s voice seemed distant now, barely audible, like waves breaking far away in a shore. The touch ceased for a second, only to be replaced with a gentle thumb stroking her closed eye. 

“Sleep, Poppins. I’m right here. Sleep.”

“Jamie…”

She didn’t hold back. Dani felt herself falling into darkness, her entire body sinking deeper and deeper. The last thing she saw before being taken by a dreamless sleep, was the image of an old chest laying forgotten at the bottom of a dark lake. 


	2. Chapter 2

It was way past noon when they got to the roadside restaurant. The place was almost empty, quiet, due to their late arriving. If things had gone according to plan, they would be on their way to Pennsylvania now, but someone overslept and the other someone didn’t have the courage to wake her up. Dani needed the sleep, truth be told. When Jamie woke up, she was greeted by the soft sound of her snore; the morning sunlight bathed Dani’s cheek and she couldn’t take her eyes away. It had been a long time since she had last seen the girl so careless and calm, probably since the night they spent together at Bly, and even then, Dani could not take a breath that something came up to distress her peace. They have been through too much, really. 

Not wanting to disturb her sleep, Jamie tiptoed around the room in search for their map. They had just entered West Virginia and things would move north now. Christmas was a few months away, but the air already felt chilly and Jamie hoped to see snow. They sort of agreed to go to Vermont and on the way there, spend a week or two in New York, just to get the full american experience. Dani had laughed at that. She got carried away for a couple of hours, lost herself amidst the states- so many- when a voice interrupted her thoughts.

“Morning”, Dani sighed. She was smiling, Jamie could see across the room. “What time is it?”

Jamie smirked at her slurry voice. “Almost three, Cinderella.”

“What?”, Dani immediately sat down, rubbing her face. “Why didn’t you wake me?”

“Tried to. Even checked your pulse to see if more drastic measures should be taken. It’s quite a relief to see you’re still alive.”

Dani rolled her eyes with feigned exasperation. “Very funny. We’ll fall behind schedule now.”

“Hey, Poppins, relax”, Jamie made her way to the bed, sitting with one hand on Dani’s leg. “You’ll end up giving yourself a heart attack one of these days. Fuck the schedule, we’re enjoying ourselves and that’s good enough, innit? And besides, you needed the rest”, she reached for her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “Honestly, you do look much better”

A light blush erupted on Dani’s cheek. “I- uh- I feel better… Thanks for that.”

“Any time...  _ But _ we do need to get going if we hope to get something to eat before it gets dark.”

They got ready quickly since there had been no unpacking the previous night. Jamie had just turned the engine on when Dani gave her a quizzical look. 

“You do know it’s not Cinderella that sleeps a lot, that’s Sleeping Beauty”, said Dani.

“Oh”, Jamie frowned in confusion. “They all look the same to me.”

And that’s how they came to be in a restaurant of doubtful hygiene. They made themselves comfortable in a table at the far corner, next to a window, where they could get a little more privacy. Not that there was anyone there to bother them, with the exception of an old lady who was visibly asleep a few feet away. 

“It’s times like this I miss Owen’s food”, sighed Jamie. 

Not even a minute had passed when a young woman, probably in her early twenties, walked up to the table with a notepad in hand. “Welcome to Road Burger! Can I take your order?”. Too bubbly, Jamie thought. Maybe that was an american thing and she was used to the british cold. 

While they looked at the menu- there weren’t that many choices- the waitress discreetly stole a glance at Dani. None of them noticed. Dani finally looked up at her and paused, catching the woman avert her gaze and bite her lower lip. She was imagining things, right? The waitress was probably just impatient to get back to her magazine or something. They made their orders and were soon left alone after the young woman mumbled a shy “right away”.

“What’s the problem with you Americans and real food?”, Jamie leaned back, putting a foot on the seat. “Seriously, I might call Owen and beg him to come save us.”

Dani rolled her eyes. “It’s not that bad.”

“Not that bad? How can you fill your tea with ice cubes and not feel disgusted with yourself?”

“You know, Brits don’t own tea. It’s a free country, we can do whatever we want with ‘your’ tea.”

“It’s not just the tea, Poppins”, Jamie reached across the table to tap on her hand. “Football, the driving lane, the fricking metric system! You destroy everything you touch!” 

The increasing enthusiasm in Jamie’s voice made Dani burst into laughter. Thank God, there’s no one around to listen to this ridiculous conversation. Dani pointed a finger at her, still breathless from the giggles. “The whole world drives on the right side, that’s not our fault.”

“Uh uh, you don’t get to talk about that. I drove the entire way so far, so your opinion doesn’t count.”

She did, though. Dani had been too tired and too immersed in thoughts to focus on the road, so Jamie bore the task on her own, with the excuse that driving relaxed her. Dani didn’t entirely believe her, but she didn’t complain either; she was more likely to cause an accident then to make it to Vermont alive. 

“I know”, Dani smiled apologetically. 

Jamie clutched her hand in return. “Don’t worry, you can make up for it later”, half-a-second after muttering the words, a twinge of regret set upon her. Her eyes lingered at Dani; a blush had crept up her cheeks as she remained silent, her mouth hanging slightly open from embarrassment, Jamie guessed. They hadn’t really discussed where their relationship stood since leaving Bly. They’d had sex, sure, but things weren’t the same anymore; a brick wall had set between them, leaving things just a tiny bit awkward. The day after fleeing the manor, they had cuddled together on the couch to watch some trashy tv show and Jamie made the mistake of placing her hand a little too high on Dani’s thigh. The girl jumped away, freeing herself from Jamie’s hands, and locked the door after entering the bathroom. Since then, touching had become easier, stealing kisses in the car or around the motel room, but they hadn’t gone further than that. Something had changed, and not only Dani’s eye color. 

“I didn’t mean-”

“It’s fine”, Dani cut her. 

Their eyes locked. Jamie had stolen glances at her brown iris this past few weeks, not knowing what to make of it. It was somehow hypnotic… But Dani hadn’t referred to the change of color yet, so she decided not to say anything. The moment lingered and was only broken by the waitress cleaning her throat. 

“Here you go!”, the woman chirped, placing their orders on the table.

Dani was the first to break contact, mumbling a small, “Thanks”. Jamie jerked back into her seat. 

“You’re very welcomed. If you need anything else, my name is Clara”, before she turned on her hills, Clara placed a hand on Dani’s shoulder. “Enjoy the meal!”, and left.

As the girl walked away, Jamie furrowed her brows. “Americans”, she huffed. 

At least the food smelt good. Dani was the first to take a big bite out of her hamburger. She didn’t realise how hungry she was until that moment, having gone to bed without dinner had been a bad idea. She moaned and tasted the french fries. To tell the truth, she hadn’t been eating much lately, food seemed kind of unimportant for some reason, but Jamie insisted she fed herself properly. 

That’s why Jamie grinned surprised. “You got your appetite back!”

“Oh- I guess. Maybe I just needed to sleep for ten hours straight.”

“Maybe”, Jamie chuckled. “No nightmares, then?”

“Nope. Although…”, Dani swallowed a chunk of meat. “There was something.”

“Bad?”

“No, no. I can’t really remember. It’s more the feeling of it.”

“How come?”, Jamie asked, stealing some french fries from Dani’s plate. 

“It’s like- You know when you’re underwater and you feel this pressure in your eardrums? And everything else, every sound, is muffled. You can’t make up what people are saying, you just feel it in your ears.”

Jamie did know what she meant, but that didn’t help her worry any less. Dani had been dreaming with water then, which could have everything to do with the lake at Bly. Or maybe she was being paranoid, she hoped so. “That’s weird… Did you know that Freud had a theory, that every dream represents wishes that’ve been repressed by our mind.”

“How do  _ you _ know that?”

“Had a _ lot _ of free time inside. Reading helped me stay sane, as much as possible. Well, reading and gardening, of course”, said Jamie. Those weren’t exactly the good old days, but Dani never judged her and she was very grateful for that. “So maybe you’re unconsciously dying to go to the beach.”

“That’d be a bummer. We’re hundreds of miles away from a California beach”, Dani gestured the distance with a french fry. 

“We could go there. I mean, after Vermont, we could go all the way to California”, she never thought she’d be saying those words. Jamie always preferred cold weathers over boiling heat, but Dani’s eyes widened. 

“Go west? Like true american pioneers?” 

“Yes, whatever that means. I-I know we agreed on one day at a time, but it’s just an idea. We can keep it in the back of our minds. What do you say?”

Dani bit her lower lip, considering.“It sounds quite boring.”

“Unbearably boring, right?”, Jamie agreed.

They spent the rest of the time talking about California, how Jamie would probably hate the way people talked, and dressed, and lived in general. Dani seemed excited, even hopeful, about the future, and that put a smile on Jamie’s face. Things were getting better, she could feel it. Their plates were clean when Clara approached the table once again. 

“How was the meal?”

“Perfect”, Dani responded.

“I’m glad to hear that”, she smiled back at her, as if Jamie didn’t exist. “Thought you’d want to taste our famous cheesecake!”, Clara put down the dessert in front of them. 

“Wait”, Jamie said, finally gaining her attention. “We didn’t order a cheesecake.”

“It’s on the house. Enjoy!”

They watched her stride away with their mouths hanging. When Dani turned her gaze to Jamie, she had a raised eyebrow and tried to hide her amusement. 

“I- I should- I should take this back, right?”, Dani stuttered, nervously. “I’m taking this back”, but before she could get up, Jamie held her by the elbow.

“It’s free dessert. You don’t refuse free food, I learned that many years ago.”

Jamie took the only fork Clara had brought and offered to her. Dani wasn’t sure, but it didn’t take much for her to give in. With a sigh, she took the fork from her hand and shoved a piece of cheesecake in her mouth.

“Uhm, so good”, Dani moaned and Jamie laughed in return.

“Look at you going rogue.”

They shared the cheesecake with only a bit of guilt from Dani’s part. After paying the bill, Clara was waiting for them at the counter. Outside, the Sun was setting and more customers were coming in. 

“Did you like the cheesecake?”

“Oh, yes, it was great”, Dani tried to be polite, nothing wrong with that. “But you didn’t have to.”

“Don’t worry, my boss isn’t here today. Actually, I- uh- I wanted to ask you something”, Clara pulled at her sleeve nervously. 

Before the waitress could say anything, Dani’s face had already turned a deep shade of red. Jamie would have laughed if this was a story told by someone else, but she didn’t feel much like laughing now. Taking it as a cue, she pulled on Dani’s shirt and whispered, “I’ll wait for you outside”, leaving the two of them behind so they could talk.

That was the best she could do in that situation, even though Dani’s eyes begged her to stay. She walked all the way to the car and pulled a cigarette out of the box. Nasty habit Jamie picked while in prison; during their time together, she half expected Dani to complain about it, so what a surprise it had been when she asked Jamie for a smoke one day. It happened twice since then, both times when Dani had been especially anxious. Jamie puffed smoke through her nose, leaning against the car. She wasn’t used to this, having someone to care for, someone who didn’t mind her crankiness, who actually wanted to stick around for the long run, however long that was. And she wasn’t used to being jealous either. It wasn’t Clara’s fault, it wasn’t anyone’s fault really, jealousy finds a way into someone’s mind through the cracks of self doubt and insecurity. And she  _ was _ insecure, Jamie thought. Dani had been nothing but tender towards her, even in the smallest ways, but she could feel doubt creeping up her neck and taking a hold of her. 

It wasn’t exactly logical, her feeling. She knew Dani would never wake up one morning and just leave, even with her nightmares and the fear of the Lady lurking in the dark beneath her skin. Still, Jamie wished that the wall growing between them would crumble down soon. There were cracks in it for sure, she saw it in the way Dani smiled at her across the table, it was like the smile they shared the night Jamie left her at the door of Flora’s bedroom. Things were getting back to normal, if there was ever a normal. Yet, here she was, smoking her feelings away. 

Jamie sighed when she spotted Dani marching back to her. “How was it?”

“You abandoned me”, Dani said, getting in the car before Jamie.

Jamie tossed the cigarette on the road and followed her. “Don’t be so dramatic.”

“I’m not being dramatic, I could’ve used a helping hand.”

“Can’t fight your battles for you, Poppins”, Jamie turned the engine on. It was getting dark fast and she didn’t like driving at night.

Dani rolled her eyes. “It was more like a very awkward and painful to watch finger battle.”

Dani’s sense of humor amused Jamie, and that was a rare thing to happen. “Well, too bad for Clara, ‘cus I’m taking the winner home”, she said, enjoying Dani’s hand on her thigh all the way to the motel. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo... Hope you enjoyed it! Jealous Jamie and Dani being a pro at finger battle. It looks like things are getting better, right? Right??  
> Comment and leave kudos if you liked it! See you all soon.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: There'll be discussions about HIV in this chapter, and future ones as well. You see, Dani and Jamie are a gay couple traveling America in the 80's, thought it was hard to ignore the Aids crisis. But, I should also say, no character will get sick nor die due to complications from HIV. Just thought you should know. Ah! Rating's changed as well, so beware.

“WELCOME TO PITTSBURGH”

“Oh, thank God”, Jamie sped up and drove past the sign, breathing relieved. “I’m never stepping a foot in Maryland again.”

“It wasn’t even a day's drive”, Dani turned her gaze from the opened window to stare at her. 

“Still, you can tell by the name of it. Maryland... so Christian.”

“I thought you were Christian…”

Jamie smirked at that. “I am. But I’m also gay, so it balances out.” 

In truth, the city was beautiful, even with the thin fog lingering in the distance. Outside, it must have been 50ºF or less, but nothing could make Dani roll up the window; the chilly breeze felt so good against her skin, it reminded her Christmas was coming, and if so they had been on the road for almost two months now. The radio played some random country song, to which Jamie hummed the lyrics mindlessly, and Dani smiled in the sight of that. She looked content, Dani thought, one of her thumbs drumming against the steering wheel and the other stroking Dani’s knee. The events at Bly Manor might have happened ten years ago, at least that is what it felt like. It felt like home, different from the one she knew in her childhood, this one felt easy, like hot tea on a snowy day. Jamie would be proud of that comparison, very British. 

Pittsburgh was, in fact, prepared for Christmas, even if the holiday was still more than a month away. A decorated tree stood tall at the downtown square and most houses had fairy lights hanging from their rooftops. To Dani, it wasn’t unusual, but to Jamie everything stood out as so different from what she was used to. Christmas was important in England, of course, but the lights and the mood were unique here. 

Jamie’s stomach growled when they passed a little bistro. “Damn it, busted.”

They parked the car a few blocks away. Before heading their way, something caught their eyes on the other side of the street. A relatively large mob was gathered in front of a local jornal, fifty, maybe sixty people, most of them holding up signs that said:

“Silence = Death”

“Act up”

And finally:

“Fight AIDS, not gays”

“What’s going on?”, Dani asked, holding Jamie by her wrist.

“I don´t know”, Jamie looked around. Most people didn’t pay any attention to the mob, walking straight through them. “Wait… They talked about this in the news, remember? That weird disease that’s been going around”.

“Yeah, but what-”, Dani pointed at the third sign. “What’s that have to do with anything?”

“I’m not sure... Maybe we should get going. It’s freezing out here.” 

They avoided the crowd, keeping an acceptable distance from each other, and headed to the bistro. The place was so packed that the women could only find seats by the counter. 

“I swear to god, if I eat chips one more day I’ll...”, Jamie expressed her dissatisfaction towards american food when, not ten minutes later, a plate of fries was put in front of them. “Will you still love me if I get fat?”, she joked, licking her grizzly fingers. 

“Why wouldn’t I?”, Dani replied without putting too much thought to it.

It was truly meant as a jest, but her response startled Jamie. They hadn’t said the words yet, even though Jamie suspected some things that had gone unsaid between them. She quirked an eyebrow at her, waiting for Dani to catch up with the moment. 

“Really?”

“Of course…”, Dani turned her face only to be met with Jamie’s very amused smirk. “Oh! I didn’t- I thought…”, her stuttering only encouraged a laugh from the other woman. “Oh, shut up”.

The mood, from then on, turned light and easy. Jamie ate all the fries despite her protests while Dani raved about The Wonder Years, a tv show she had no interest in, but seeing Dani this happy soothed her heart a little bit. Not even a group of very loud college kids could disrupt that moment. 

“You think Winnie is cheating on Kevin?”, Dani asked.

“Hope so, that boy’s a twat.”

“He’s the main character, you can’t hate him”.

“You watch me”, Jamie was cleaning her hands on a napkin when something caught her attention over Dani’s shoulder, a newspaper left abandoned on the counter. “Hey, Poppins, get that for us, will ya?”

Surprised by the change of subject, Dani turned around to see what she was talking about. Jamie paid close attention as she read the headline:

“America threatened by-”, she paused, taking a deep breath. “By gay virus plague. Jesus…”

“Keep reading”, Jamie said.

Dani searched her face, trying to understand why the hell Jamie wanted to hear about this, but she continued, cleaning her throat. “The tragic medical consequences of Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome, known as AIDS, have been measured in the 13.000 known deaths caused by the disease. But for the living victims, AIDS has profound psychological consequences that are only beginning to be understood-”

“Don’t worry, love”, a male voice interrupted her. The man staring at them was the cook; tall and slender, he smiled at them kindly from behind the counter. “This virus seems to have a preference for boy lovers, not girls.”

Her first guess was that the man was mocking them, but there was no malice in his eyes. “Excuse me?”, Dani said. 

“I’m just saying, you and your girl shouldn’t be too alarmed”, he threw the dishcloth over his shoulder when none of the women said a word. “Please, you could’ve fooled me”, he said, pointing at Dani. Then, he turned to Jamie. “But you...”

“You think this is funny, mate?”, Jamie took the paper from Dani’s hand. 

“Am I laughing? Sorry, I ain’t making fun of you, but hysteria seems to be getting the best of us lately. Last week, the cable guy refused to enter my apartment. Now, I’m stuck with the sports channel. I’m Michael, by the way.”

He seemed to wait for Jamie to introduce herself, but when she didn’t, Dani reached out a hand to shake his. “Dani… And this is Jamie.”

“How long have you been in America?”, Michael said, picking up on Jamie’s accent.

“A couple of months”, Jamie responded, grudgingly. “We worked together in England”.

“And why did you leave to come to this shithole?” 

“It wasn’t much better there”.

“Sorry, Michael”, Dani interrupted. “But we saw a demonstration out there…”

“Ah, yes, they’re trying to get the mayor’s attention. Apparently, he’s out golfing… For the third time this week.” 

“It’s true, then? A plague?”, Jamie raised the paper, showing him the headlines.

Dani was the only one who noticed when a couple who had been seated next to them stood up and left as soon as Jamie uttered those words. It was weird; outside the bistro, a minor chaos had started to escalate, but inside it was a total different situation. People didn’t seem concerned at all, parents walked in with their children, college students laughed loudly a couple of seats away from them. Michael took a deep breath, considering what to say. 

“Don’t trust everything you read. People are dying, it’s true, but the virus isn’t that selective”, he snatched the paper from Jamie’s hand and threw it in a bin. “There’ve been cases of women dying too, straight women even. But usually it’s one of us.” 

“You said we shouldn't be worried...”, Dani furrowed her brows.

“Mildly concerned, maybe? Trust me, your chances of getting sick don’t begin to compare to mine”.

“That’s not very reassuring”, said Jamie.

Michael, who had been grilling a burger, paused to regard her closely. “Has anyone ever told you you look like a brunette Debbie Harry?”

Jamie huffed. “My ex”.

Her voice was low, but that didn’t prevent Dani from choking on her tea. An ex? She didn’t even consider the possibility of Jamie having an ex. Which was dumb, she knew; everyone has a past and the fact that Dani didn’t bother enough to ask about it didn’t change that. Jamie avoided her gaze, suddenly very interested in her half empty plate. 

“You okay?”, Michael asked Dani, when the woman started having a coughing fit.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Perfect”. 

By the time they finished their food, the crowd outside had dispersed. They said their goodbyes to Michael and headed to the car. The hotel they would be staying in was on the other side of the city.

“Go on, I know you’re dying to talk about it”, Jamie said, looking at her out of the corner of her eye.

Dani sat restless on the passenger seat. “You never told me about your ex”.

“You never asked”.

She was about to deny the accusation, but paused midways, biting her lower lip.“I- I’m… I’m really self absorbed, aren’t I? Should’ve asked sooner”.

“Self absorbed? I had to get you drunk to hear you spell all your secrets”.

“Right… But I _could’ve_ asked sooner”.

Jamie’s past, she realized, was still a mystery. The woman spent two years in prison and not once Dani thought to ask about that. Maybe it was a delicate subject, but still, she wanted to know about the bad stuff just as much as the good. 

“It isn’t a happy story, anyways”, Jamie sighed, trying to avoid the conversation.

“When have any of our stories been happy?”

“Good point”.

“What was her name? Wait- It’s a she, right?”

Jamie took her eyes off the road for a second. Dani’s face wasn't giving away what she was feeling, so Jamie decided to be honest. “ _Her_ name was Rachel, we met right after I left prison. I was still in London, back then. We worked together, house maintenance, nothing big”.

“How long were you together?”

“Two years, almost”

“Wow”, Dani’s eyes widened. 

She smirked in return. “Jealous?”

“Not really.”

“We didn’t see each other that much, to be honest. She’d get these calls to attend in other cities, and then she’d disappear for weeks. So I came to the only logical conclusion, she was cheating on me”, Jamie stopped at a sign and took the opportunity to look at her. She hadn’t really thought of Rachel since moving to Bly, the gardening work helped cleaning her mind. But now, despite her inicial fear, there was no pain left, no sorrow, nothing. Just a memory from the past. “Tried to talk to her about it, but she’d always dismiss me, saying I was crazy. I wanted to believe her, really did, but jealousy was eating me alive. So, one day, she got a call from Brighton… As soon as she was out the door, I packed my bags and left. Never talked to her ever since”.

A car passed them as lightning, honking loudly. They both jumped, being pulled out of the protection bubble they had created from themselves. A longer silence filled the air for a few minutes, none of the women knowing how to break it. 

But Dani took a shot. “Was she?”

“What?”

“Cheating on you?”

“I don’t know… “, Jamie sighed. “It didn’t even matter, really. I wasn’t myself when I was with her. Was always looking for hidden meanings in everything she said, everything she did. There was no trust, and she didn’t try to fix that either. So I figured, what’s the point?”

Looking down, Jamie saw a hand stroking her leg gently. Rachel had turned into just another name, a stranger she wouldn’t bother to look at twice when crossing the street. Dani was here though, Dani was real and they had time. 

“I’m sorry…”, Dani whispered, not moving her hand. 

“Sorry? Poppins, you should be grateful. I was single when you landed with your magical umbrella.”

  
  
  


The sound of water running filled the small room they would stay for the night. The day had been packed with discoveries, not very good ones, and by the end of it, both women just wanted a quiet night for themselves. Michael’s words stuck with Dani; the uncertainty was the worst part, the feeling of not having any control over the situation. Fear prickled in the back of her head, if something happened to Jamie… She was overreacting, Dani was sure, and they would soon leave Pittsburgh behind along with that awful sensation. But there was something else bothering her, something Jamie had said. Or even better, something Jamie hadn’t. 

Dani sat on the bed, her hands fisted tightly on her lap, glancing at the bathroom door every two minutes. Jamie walked out, wearing shorts and an oversized t-shirt, and stood in front of the mirror drying her hair with a towel. 

“Jamie”, Dani cleaned her throat. “Can I ask you something?”

Jamie peeked at her through the damp hair on her forehead. “Sure”

“Were you- uhm- That day at the restaurant, were you jealous? Of the waitress.” 

She didn’t turn around, instead Jamie straightened her back intrigued. “Clara? Don’t worry, Poppins, I’m not leaving you”. That was not what had gotten into Dani’s head and when the blonde didn’t respond, still waiting for an answer, Jamie said, “Uhm...I- Yes, not proud of it, but yes. Why?”

“You didn’t do anything… Why didn’t you?”

“Like what?”, Jamie huffed. “Wait… Were you mad at me? That I didn’t… Mark my territory?” 

“No! Jesus, that’s not it!”, Dani shook her head. The words running through her head didn’t help either. 

“Then, I’m sorry, but you’ve lost me”

“I don’t know. It’s just…”, Dani paused. “Eddie would’ve flipped. He always did. We went to a soccer match once-”

“Football”.

“Right, a football match and, uh- There was this guy who kept staring at me the whole night. When we were leaving, the guy whistled at me… I mean, he was an asshole, but Eddie… He just- He got so mad, I thought he’d do something stupid. He didn’t, of course, but he didn’t speak to me for a week afterwards.”

“Well, don’t mean to speak ill of the dead but-”

“I’m serious!”, Dani rolled her eyes with feigned exasperation. “I know you’re not his biggest fan, but he was still my best friend.”

“Exactly! Your best friend. The closest thing you had to a brother and he just annoyed you into marriage. Then, in the after life, he traveled across the sea just to haunt you.”

She wasn’t saying anything crazy and Dani was aware of that. For years and years Eddie had tried to convince her to commit to something she wasn’t ready to and would never be. Childhood crushes, that moment in life when you are still figuring yourself out, loves that lasted a season, they were all distorted in Dani’s life. She never got to experience those things.

“He didn’t annoy me-”, she said more to herself than to Jamie.

“How many times did he propose?”

“Six…”

She was right, of course. Dani spent her entire adolescence and even some of her adult years juggling feelings that were not her own. Her mother’s, Eddie’s, Eddie’s mom’s… Then suddenly, here she was, looking at a person that sparked fear and excitement through her veins and Dani didn’t know how to handle that. Much less now that she had to figure if the fear was good, or just one more trace from the lady that lurked into her. 

“Look”, Jamie cut her train of thought. “I- I can’t control things that are out of my reach, okay? The waitress fancied you, nothing I could do about it.”

Why not? She could have done many things, but she chose not to. Why? There was something Dani was missing, something that had been slipping through her fingers… If Jamie was jealous, and she knew she was, why did she bolt? And it wasn’t even the same as Rachel. There had been no anger or despair - Oh… The sleepover all those months back in Bly came to her mind. People mix up love and possession… But maybe not all people. 

“I trust you, Dani, and I knew you could handle the situation by yourself. And besides… Feels nice to be wanted, even if by a stranger. I didn’t want to take that away from you.”

Something clicked inside her head. The whole thing was so obvious that Dani couldn’t help but smile at Jamie’s reflection. 

“What?”, Jamie quirked an inquisitive eyebrow. 

So Dani made a decision. Through the mirror, Jamie saw her stepping closer, in a confident move. She stared at themselves as one of Dani’s hands came to rest at her waist and the other grabbed her neck. The cold fingers sent chills down her body, but she didn’t flinch; Dani was so close she could feel her hot breath against her jaw. The fingers finally guided Jamie’s head to turn around so their noses brushed together. It wasn’t fear she saw in Dani’s eyes, they were blown wide with desire and Jamie understood where things were going. It was Dani who closed the distance between them, crushing their lips together just a little too hard, her hand drifting up Jaime’s neck and coming to rest in her hair. The angle was awkward, but Jamie couldn’t help but surge against her immediately, making a contented noise in the back of her throat. 

A few seconds into the kiss, Dani pulled back and, with a voice dropped to a whisper, said, “I want you.”

Jamie sucked in a breath. Dani had to be sure, every attempt at physical intimacy since Bly had ended in a lot of frustration. But mostly, she needed to know Dani was comfortable with this, that it wasn’t going to fuck things up in the future. Turning around, her back to the mirror, Jamie held her by the shoulders, keeping a safe distance between their bodies. 

“Are you sure?”, Jamie asked. “We don’t have to.” 

To her surprise, Dani grinned and, without another word, pulled her forward into a second kiss. This one felt more desperate, their mouths opened, licking into each other. It was wet and messy, but Jamie was completely up for it; she pulled away just so her lips could trail down the length of her neck. Dani was so responsive, every time Jamie’s tongue traced her skin, she let out a moan that made Jamie drip in her underwear.The hand that had been tugging on Jamie’s hair slided down to give her ass a generous squeeze and pull them closer.

“Was it something I said?”, Jamie smirked against her neck.

Dani replied with a jarring squeeze. “Everything you said”. 

They stumbled around the room giggling until Dani’s back hit the opposite wall. “Too many clothes”, she mumbled and lifted her arms above her head so Jamie could take off her jumper, which was soon discarded on the floor. Jamie took it as a cue to free herself from her own t-shirt, so both of them were left in their bras. 

The skin to skin contact felt amazing. Dani’s hands roaming her body, from the small of her back to the scar on her shoulder, made her head feel a little dizzy. She needed more friction, though. Grabbing her hips to dear life, Jamie wedged Dani in place and brought a knee between her legs, encouraging her to trust forward. Soon enough, they were both riding each other’s thighs, Jamie’s hands on her ass shoving them closer together. 

“Fuck, this feels good”, Jamie said. Their hips moved in unison, a constant rhythm good enough to bring them off. Dani seemed to be enjoying just as much as her, head tipped forward, pressed into her neck, breathing heavily against her ear. But that wasn’t enough; Jamie wanted to feel her, the soft skin of her inner thighs, that spot on the small of her back that had made Dani shiver all those months before. “Wait”, Jamie held Dani’s hips, halting her movement. “Turn around”.

The idea wasn’t well received by Dani, who sighed in frustration. But she complied with the request anyways. She turned her back to Jamie, reaching out and placing her palms flat on the wall. Then she waited, just as she was told; she waited for Jaime’s hand to roam her stomach or move up to cup her breasts. The anticipation felt just as good as the actual touch, like the smell of rain before the first drops start to fall, so Dani kept her eyes closed, savoring the moment. Twenty seconds felt like twenty minutes, but when the touch came, she hissed in surprise. Jamie’s bare chest pressed against her back and her bare thighs, against Dani’s still clothed ones. 

“This isn’t fair”, Jamie humed and slid her hand down to unbutton the front of her jeans. “I’ll help you with this”, and kissed her way down her spine, taking the pants with her. Dani didn’t open her eyes once, turning her attention to Jamie’s breath coming from behind her ear, then from down below. Her legs were exposed to the air now, as she kicked the pants away, and she could feel Jamie’s nails drifting up her body. “Just one more thing”, Jamie’s voice tickled her neck again, right before Dani felt her bra being unclasped and thrown to the floor. 

They were both left in their underwear, bodies pressed tightly together. Dani’s legs were trembling, she noticed as she held her breath, enjoying the feeling of Jamie’s breasts against her back. It is obviously funny, looking back now, how sex never felt like a big deal to her, certainly not with Edmund. Their adventures in bed before their engagement had been, well… Boring, mostly. There was no excitement, no experimentation, which Edmund didn’t seem to mind and Dani used to tell herself that neither did she. Boring is good, she would think to herself, but afterwards, with Eddie holding her close, a sensation of emptiness would linger. Now, Jamie might enjoy some boredom in her life, but things were different with sex. There was nothing boring with the way Jamie grinded her hips against her ass, moaning indistinctive words into her bare shoulder. There was absolutely nothing boring when a hand trailed up her stomach and stopped over her breast, or when Jamie started rolling her already erect nipple between her fingers. Boredom was hundreds of miles away from that room. 

Jamie rolled her hips lazily against her and Dani could feel herself soaking through her underwear. “Jesus”, she hissed when Jamie pinched her nipple a little too hard.

“Too much?”, Jamie smirked behind her.

Dani did the same.“Not enough.” 

“I can solve that”, Jamie took her time dipping her hand past the front waistband of Dani’s underwear, while still playing with her nipple. But she didn’t let herself dive entirely into her heat, instead Jamie cupped her sex and brought her closer. 

Dani quietly moaned and let her head fall back against Jamie’s shoulder. She felt herself hot all over, and it didn’t help that Jamie kept moving their hips, chasing some sort of friction. 

“Jamie, please…”

She didn’t want to tease anymore, so Jamie let her fingers wander down past Dani’s folds. “You’re so wet”, she smiled into her skin. When she found her clit, an electric shock traveled through Dani’s body. 

Those months of abstinence, sleeping in the same bed but never allowing herself to rich out and touch, made themselves noticeable now; Dani could feel her own arousal. “Your fault”, she half groaned. 

They kept a slow but steady rhythm, Dani’s hips thrusting forward into Jamie’s hand, and back into her cunt. Then a pair of lips were on her jaw, biting and sucking gently, and Dani felt like she might actually pass out. How did she live more than twenty years without knowing how good and erotic this could be? Wanting to be impossibly closer, wanting Jamie to be on top of her, in her.... The thought crossed her mind when the fingers left her clit to travel south, pausing at her entrance. 

“This okay?”, Jamie hesitated. 

Dani couldn’t bring herself to answer, the words had all melted alongside with her brain. She tried to mumble yes, but what came out was a loud moan. Jamie understood though, and that was good enough. She kicked off the underwear when it fell to the floor. Nudging Dani’s legs apart, Jamie let her hand travel her body, enjoying how sensitive some parts were, her nipples, her waist, the small of her back, the inside of her thighs. Her fingers ghosted the skin of Dani’s ass, finding a warm and wet place just above her cunt. This was torture, Dani thought, sweet torture. She needed more pressure, but Jamie seemed content making her wait. Finally, _finally_ , her index finger plummeted inside in a swift motion and Dani gasped in surprise. 

It always amazed her how caring Jamie could be, in spite of her tough exterior, the woman was constantly sicking her body, keeping Dani grounded when her mind and fears threatened to take over. This wasn’t any different; a part of Jamie was focused on giving Dani pleasure, a finger plunging into her with a steady urgency, but the other was soothing; a thumb caressing her neck, Jamie’s forehead leaned against hers while she whispered loving words. Dani felt loved in a way she never felt before. Not with Edmund, not with anyone. 

“I’m close...”, Dani breathed and brought her fingers to press into her own clit, circling it loosely, as their lips brushed. 

She could feel her muscles tightening and warmth spreading from her thighs to her stomach. Jamie took that as a cue and fastened the pace between her legs, the wet sound echoing in the room. The feeling grew stronger until there was nowhere else to go and it came crashing over her, over and over again, her head jerking forward and a hand grabbing Jamie’s hair behind her. The release took Dani and left her panting and shaking. Jamie guided her through the orgasm, slowing her fingers until they came to a halt. 

A kiss was dropped to her shoulder and Dani hummed. “Fuck, Jamie...”, she said. Now that the bliss cooled down, she was very aware of Jamie’s hips still grinding into her. “Why didn’t we do this on the bed?” 

“There was no time”, Jamie replied, dropping another kiss to her neck. 

Wanting to hold Dani properly, Jamie turned her around, keeping an arm looped around her waist to keep her steady. The feeling of their breasts brushing each other made her gasp.

“C’mon”, Dani held her hand and pulled her to bed, making sure Jamie lay down first so she could straddle her thighs. Jamie bucked her hips and Dani helped her with the underwear, leaving both of them finally naked. 

She is beautiful, Dani thought and let her gaze travel down her whole body. The clothes she wore would usually hide her toned abs and strong arms, a result of years working as a gardener. She might even look small now, lying bare naked under Dani. 

“Enjoying the view?”, smirked Jamie.

“Very much”.

Building up courage, Dani spread Jamie’s legs to sit between them and her fingertips started to trace invisible lines over Jamie’s stomach. When she reached her breast, Dani thumbed the nipple gently and Jamie bucked her hips in response. She wasn’t used to being observed like this, being under Dani’s hungry gaze… A blush spread from her face to her chest and it didn’t go unnoticed. Dani grinned satisfied above her. Jamie sighed and shifted beneath her, urging Dani to lean forward into a kiss, which she swiftly avoided. Instead, Dani pressed hot, open-mouthed kisses down her neck, and her chest, finally arriving where she was heading to. She flicked her tongue over her nipple and Jamie had to bite down a whimper at the way her teeth felt digging her skin. 

“You want to kill me, don’t ya?”, Jamie’s hands clutched Dani’s waist tight enough to make her knuckles go white. When she bucked her hips again, their cunts grinded each other, making both of them moan to the sensation. “Do that again”, she pleaded, so their hips started to move in unison, clits sliding together. Jamie could feel Dani’s arousal, and Dani could feel hers. 

From this position, Jamie had a clear view of Dani’s front, the sweat that dripped down her neck and past the space between her breasts, down her stomach and disappeared inside the light hair where their bodies were connected. She didn’t seem to have a worry in the world, her head thrown back and her eyes closed, as if all their problems had been in a different life. She deserved that, Jamie thought, a life where Dani could be happy without guilt or fear. Jamie wished she could give her that life and she would try to do so in the time they had together. Years, she would pray to whatever being that had been watching over them, please be years. 

Dani moaned and Jamie knew she was close once more. Her own orgasm was also approaching speedly as their movements grew more erratic, but she wanted to see Dani. This was hers. 

“Open your eyes”, Jamie told her. “D- Dani, open your eyes”.

Dani, who had been miles away, did just that and locked her eyes with Jamie’s. One blue and one brown. God, she could come just by looking at them. 

“Don’t- uh- don’t close ‘em, k- keep looking at me”.

She didn’t, even when the wave washed over her a second time; her mouth fell open, her grip tightened in the bed sheets, but she didn’t close her eyes. 

“Jesus”, Dani sighed after a few quiet moments. She let her weight collapse down as Jamie arms came up to wrap around her body

Jamie chuckled. “Who’s the christian girl now?” 

“Oh, don’t say that”, Dani groaned, dropping a kiss to her shoulder. “My mom would have a heart attack if she saw us like this.”

“I’d have a heart attack if your mom saw us like this”. 

They breathed heavily. Her muscles would be sore in the morning, but she couldn’t bring herself to care while being nestled in Jamie’s arms. The fatigue felt like sheer bliss. Dani felt Jamie’s heart slowing down and, a second later, felt her hips bucking up. Only then she realized Jamie hadn’t come with her. 

“Don’t move”, Dani whispered, resting her weight on her upper arms on either side of Jamie’s head. Their lips brushed, but she didn’t give into a kiss. Instead, Dani licked her lower lip and moved away, sucking down the length of her neck and chest, mapping her out and pausing only to pay closer attention to her belly button. She was sensitive there, every time Dani licked the spot, Jamie hissed in pleasure. 

“You’re definitely trying to kill me”, Jamie tried to suppress a groan, failing miserably. “I’m... reporting you for- Uh fuck... For attempted murder.” 

“Patience”, Dani breathed against her skin, enjoying each muffled sound. 

“Said the girl who already came… Twice.”

She was probably being mean. Jamie had endured too much foreplay so far, without being rewarded in the end. Although she was enjoying how responsive Jamie was to her touch, Dani decided to quit the game and go straight to the main event. She spread her legs wider as Jamie’s eyes followed her every movement. That entire night had been about that, being observed by the brunette’s gaze. When trapped against the wall, with Jamie’s fingers pumping into her, Dani had been watched; grinding their cunts together, alienated to her surroundings, Dani had been watched. And now, with her head between her thighs…

“Wait”, Jamie stopped her with a hand and went to move the pillows, propping herself up. “I wanna see you”.

Jamie liked to watch, Dani smiled in realization. Wanting to indulge her, she lowered her head slowly, inhaling the strong scent that lingered in there. The thick hair tickled her nose. This sensation was new; they hadn’t done this in Bly, only hands and thighs were used to bring each other off. It had been enough, more than enough, feeling Jamie wet against her leg and around her fingers. But this was so much better. Dani took a deep breath and dived into her, licking a straight line from her opening to her clit. Jamie gripped Dani by the hair as her tongue pressed more firmly.

Damn the thin walls, Jamie would think later that night. The neighbors could definitely hear her moans and swears by now. Fuck it, this was a motel afterall. She didn’t avert her eyes as Dani’s head bobbed between her legs, the sight of it spreading a familiar warmth to her lower abdomen. She was close; well, she had been close since the moment Dani masturbated in front of her. 

“Won’t take long”, she said and her words worked as encouragement to Dani sink two fingers into her. “Yes… Don’t- don’t stop”.

Dani sucked her clit firmly as she rocked her hips unconsciously. There was an irritating ringing in her ear that wouldn't go away, muffling her own crys. When the heat became too much, Jamie felt like her skin was about to burst open and she would finally be allowed to let go. Dani was there to take her back, so she did. Arching her back and tightening her hold to Dani’s hair, Jamie came, her inner walls clenching around her fingers. 

The world took a minute to go back to its axis. When it did, Jamie opened one eye only to be met with Dani’s, the blue and the brown, smiling down at her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo, hope you enjoyed it! Longer chapter, but I couldn't stop writing. See you all next week!


	4. Chapter 4

The room was quiet when Dani woke up. On the other side of the curtains, the world was still dark, a freezing winter night. She stretched her arm, seeking the warm body next to her, but her fingers brushed over the sheets not finding any. Without Jamie, the bed felt terribly cold, even tucked under the thick duvet. She probably went to the bathroom…

Dani rolled over, lying on her back, and took a deep breath. Her neck and jaw felt sore, a reminder of their activity the previous night. She smiled to herself. As soon as Jamie came back to bed, she would cradle her between her thighs and remind her how much she’d enjoyed having her so close. The thought excited Dani, who looked impatiently over to the bathroom door. What was taking her so long? Before she could get up and find the answer for herself, Dani felt something wet on her forehead. It startled her and she brought a finger to her skin. It was only water. Water dripping from the ceiling. They were out so fast last night that they hadn’t noticed the storm, not even the loud thunders were able to pull them from the slumber. 

Another drop fell from the leaking ceiling into Dani’s forehead. She couldn’t really complain, Jamie and her had decided from the start that there would be no expensive restaurants nor fancy hotels during the trip, and even so the money was already running short. There was a bucket in the bathtub she remembered seeing the previous night that would be enough to solve the problem; they could push the bed to the other side and worry about the leaking in the morning. Dani finally got up and paused in front of the shut door, listening to whatever Jamie was doing in there. However, the bathroom was silent. 

“Jamie?”, she called, turning the doorknob. 

Instead of bright light, Dani walked into a dark and empty bathroom. Jamie wasn’t there. Maybe she left to buy them something to eat, Dani thought. But it wasn’t even 5 am, every store would still be closed this late at night. It was only then that Dani started to worry. Jamie wouldn’t just leave, she was certain of that, so something must’ve happened. She clenched a fist over her chest, trying to control her heart rate; an anxiety attack was the last thing she needed right now. Jamie would walk through the front door at any moment, and Dani would feel like a complete fool, or at least that’s what she was praying for. God, let me look like a fool. The bucked was left forgotten in the tub, which wouldn’t make much of a difference, because when Dani turned around, there wasn’t only one leak in the ceiling, but several. 

The room was decorated by a water veil, turning the floor into a giant puddle. Did they really sleep through a storm heavy enough to cause this kind of damage? Dani didn’t stop to wonder about that, she needed to get help and take their stuff to a dry place. Rushing to the front door, she tried to open it, with no success. The door was locked and the key, which they’d left on the side table, was nowhere to be found. Shit, Jamie left and took the key. Her second idea was the phone, but just like the key, it had also disappeared. As the water volume on the floor increased, Dani felt herself panicking. Keeping calm was no longer a possibility. Her hair was already soaked and her clothes clinged to her skin, making her shiver. 

“Jamie!”, she called for the woman that wasn’t there, but who she so desperately wished to be with.

It was truly raining inside the room by now. Water poured from the roof, in a dense cascate, heavier and heavier, causing a flooding that went up to Dani’s knees. Her heart hammered inside her chest, blurring her view, which increased even more her anxiety. There was no way out. If she jumped through the window, Dani would fall into a raging sea in which the streets had been transformed into. She would be taken by the stream until her body sank to the bottom of the flooding and laid forgotten for eternity. The lock wouldn’t give in, even with Dani trying to burst it open with all of her strength. The water was rising fast, wrapping itself around her hips, her waist, her chest… 

Dani cried for help until it felt like knives were cutting through her throat and she lost her voice. There was no one listening, no one would come to save her and when Jamie came back, she would find the lifeless body that one day had been her lover. The water engulfed her neck, pulling her down into the cold, until her whole body was taken. Her lungs fought against the urge to inhale, sending a sharp pain to her chest. The room was getting darker. I’m dying, Dani thought. Jamie didn’t deserve this; she was so much better without me, everyone was. If she hadn’t gone to Bly, maybe everything would’ve been alright, maybe Hannah would still be alive, Owen would be able to spend countless days beside her and Jamie… Jamie would live a boring but happy life, with no disappointments nor fears. Jamie would grow old without having to bear Dani’s tragic fate, a fate that she hadn’t chosen for herself but which she was forced to endure. At least she wasn’t here, she shouldn’t die with me.

Before losing consciousness, Dani saw something lingering in a dark corner of the room. The shadow turned out to be a chest, an old trunk she’d seen before in a dream a lifetime ago. She closed her eyes and-

Sprang out of bed with a gasp. The air finally made its way into her lungs, dissipating the suffocating sensation that had set heavily on her chest moments before. Dani looked around in the dark, her eyes hadn’t just yet adjusted to being awake and she couldn’t immediately identify where the hell she was. One thing was for certain though, she was dry and there was no leaking in the ceiling. Reality was still blurry when a sigh caught her attention; lying next to her, fast asleep, was a very naked Jamie and just like that, Dani’s memory came rushing back to her. 

Last night, after collapsing on top of Jamie, Dani buried her face in the crook of her neck, pleased with the fresh scent of soap and shampoo that still clung to her skin. The soft rise and fall of the brunette’s chest was doing wonders in rocking her to sleep, but before unconsciousness took her completely, Dani felt a thumb stroking her eyelids. 

“Hey… Heey, Poppins…”, Jamie called to her in a whisper until Dani opened her eyes. “You okay?”

“Yeah”, Dani hummed. “Are you?”

“More than okay”.

Jamie’s smile and the flush on her face from the orgasm she had minutes before caught Dani’s breath and she couldn’t help but grin in return. 

“What?”, Jamie frowned when Dani made a face. 

“It’s just-”, Dani started. “You said I could make up for the driving but… But I feel like I still owe you”,  _ afterall, you did make me come twice after months of celibacy.  _

Jamie laughed and rolled over to lie on her side, facing Dani. “What can I say, I’m a giver. And a very generous person”.

“Weren’t you the one who threatened a ten year old boy for cutting some flowers?”

“A thirty year old twat in the body of a ten year old boy”, Jamie feigned exasperation. “Besides, that was the old Jamie”.

“Really? And what’s the new Jamie like?”

“The new Jamie eats chips  _ every _ single day, listens to shitty country music and…”, she dropped a very gentle kiss to Dani’s neck. “She gets to make you come twice”.

“Lucky me”, Dani blushed and accepted the woman into her arms, as Jamie planted chaste kisses on her forehead, cheeks, chin and, when she finally got to her mouth, Dani pulled her closer and opened her lips in an unspoken invitation. “Jamie...”

Now, staring down at the brunette, Dani remembered what Jamie’d said when she tried to untangle herself from her arms in order to take a shower- she probably smelled like fries while Jamie smelled like roses.  _ Stay _ , she’d said, pulling her back to bed, and Dani was left wondering if she meant something more by that word. She did stay and fell asleep with Jamie in her arms, intertwined in the cocoon they’d created in bed. 

It took a couple of minutes to catch her breath, but Dani finally stopped panicking before laying down next to Jamie once more. It was just a dream, she told herself, even though she didn’t believe in a word of that. So she replayed the same words in her mind until sleep claimed her again. 

  
  
  


They’d entered the estate of New York about twenty minutes ago. Dani on the driver’s seat for a change and Jamie with her bare feet propped up on the dashboard, while a country song about Jesus and Route 66 played on the radio. Jamie had been skeptical at first, when Dani suggested she’d drive this time, but two or three kisses were enough to convince the brunette. Now, she’d been grinning to herself all morning, flashing Dani a thank-you-in-advance-for-all-the-sex-we’re-going-to-have-later smile every few minutes, which managed to get a blush or two out of her. 

“You really weren’t kidding about the shitty country music”, Dani broke the silence when Jamie’s eyes prickling her skin became too much. 

“Don’t even tell me. America’s getting under my skin”.

“Thought I saw a CD around here the other day…”, Dani rummaged through the glove compartment, forcing Jamie to retrieve her feet, until her fingers found what she was looking for. She frowned at the CD. “Oh… George Michael? Really?”

“It was Owen’s idea for a birthday present last year, thought it was funny”, Jamie said, but Dani was already inserting the CD on the player. “Oh, don’t-”, she groaned. 

George Michael’s voice filled the car, amusing Dani when the other woman rolled her eyes. She would have to remind herself to thank Owen later. However, the gift put a surprising thought into her head. 

“You know, I just realised you never told me when your birthday was”, Dani said. “Wait… I didn’t miss it, did I?”

“No, you didn’t. I was born on April the 28th”

“A Taurus, then? It explains a lot…”

“Does it?”, Jamie smirked, surprised at Dani’s knowledge of astrology. 

“Yeah! Stubborn, loves comfort, ‘nice and boring’ and all that”, Dani faked the poor accent that always made her laugh. In truth, Dani was a little bit annoyed that she hadn’t asked such a basic question, but again, their relationship hadn’t been exactly ordinary so far. 

“If you say so…”, the brunette brought her hand to the nape of Dani’s neck, letting her thumb trace the sensitive skin. “What about you? When’s your birthday?”

The proximity made it obvious when Dani’s body stiffened. A long silence preceded her answer.

“Didn’t I tell you?”, she half attempted to fake surprise but Jamie wasn’t buying it. Finally, she sighed. “The 1st of September…”

The thing is, Dani hates birthdays, always has since being a little girl. The relatives all together, her mom seizing the opportunity to get drunker than ever, her dad being absent… The end of August meant her anxiety would shoot through the roofs and nobody seemed to understand why. So she didn’t bother telling people the date of her birthday anymore. 

“What?”, Jamie paused, doing the maths. “But you were already in Bly by then… Dani!”

“I know, I’m sorry!”, Dani scrunched her nose. Maybe she should’ve told them, it wouldn’t be the same as home. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I’m just- I’m not a huge birthday person”.

“What’s that even mean?”, Jamie pinched the skin of her neck lightly, teasing her. “Too bad, you’ll never taste Owen’s birthday cake now. The kids went nuts for it, would start climbing the walls if it wasn’t for Rebecca”.

“Guess it’s too late now...”

The idea crossed Jamie’s mind a few moments before. Her hand dragged from Dani’s neck to her shoulder, playing with the collar of her sweater. “I owe you a birthday gift”.

“Oh no, you don’t have to buy me anything. Please…”

Jamie moved the fabric aside, exposing more of her collarbone, and hooked a finger around the strap of her bra. A shiver went down Dani’s body when the brunette leaned closer to whisper, “Who said anything about buying?”

Even if she tried, Dani couldn’t get mad at her smugness, but the gentle caressing over her skin was dangerous. The game couldn’t go any further with Dani’s knuckles turning white from gripping the steering wheel. 

“You want me to drive this car straight into a tree?”, she sighed out of frustration. “‘Cus I just might if you keep doing that”.

“Doing what?”

“Jamie”, Dani warned, sensing her smirk from miles away. 

Jamie snatched her hand away, raising it in surrender. Their destination was New York city, where they would spend two weeks, enough to catch their breath and go sightseeing. Jamie was excited to explore the city, the Christmas lights and all that, even if she tried to play it cool. With George Michael still serving as the soundtrack, they fell into an easy silence, enjoying the urban view outside. A couple of minutes later, a sudden atmospheric change while driving up a hill clogged their ears. 

“Shit… Hate when this happens”, Jamie yawned, trying to relieve the pressure. She didn’t notice immediately- since she had her eyes closed, while pinching her nostrils and blowing the air in an attempt to unblock her ears- the car slightly drifting to the opposite driving lane. Only when the car was completely on the wrong side of the road, did Jamie realize something was wrong. “Poppins? Stop it, it’s not funny”, she took it as a joke, remembering the driving into a tree comment, but Dani didn’t respond; her eyes were blown wide and her mouth hanging slightly open, as if the girl had been hypnotized. 

In the distance, she could see another car getting closer and Jamie started to panic. She held the steering wheel, forcing the car to the right, but Dani’s hands were heavy and pulled them right back. 

“Dani? Hey, Dani!”, Jamie shook her, desperately trying to pull her from whatever fucking void she had fallen into. “Fuck… Can you hear me? Dani!” 

Mere seconds separated them from an ungly accident. Jamie darted her eyes from Dani to the road, not knowing what to do.

“Dani!”, she shouted now. “Dani! DAANI!!”

When her eyes finally gained consciousness, a quick reflex turned the steering wheel. ““Oh, shit! Shit, shit!”, Dani pulled to the roadside and switched off the engine . The guy in the other car screamed something at them that they didn’t even register, their hearts hammering way too fast to hear anything. 

The velvety voice coming from the stereo was almost comic now. Dani didn’t dare turn her head, in case the brunette sent her a furious look. 

Jamie turned off the radio, almost punching the device off the dashboard. “What the fuck just happened?”

“I- I- uh… I don’t know… Must’ve gotten distracted”.

“That’s shite and you know it”. 

“What do you want me to say?”, Dani replied, still avoiding eye contact. “You’re the one who kept touching me”.

“I’m not trying to blame ya, but it did  _ not  _ look like you were distracted. You were completely out, Dani!”

“I wasn’t paying attention to the road. I’m sorry, okay!”

“You weren’t even conscious!”, Jamie’s voice rose out of exasperation. 

“CAN YOU GET OFF MY BACK, PLEASE?!”

Dani’s words made Jamie jump on her seat. She was frozen in shock, staring at the blonde’s profile. A minute passed and none of them dared to break the silence. It was obvious Dani was shaken, one could notice from only looking at her trembling hands, but the words still hurt. 

“Jamie…”, Dani started carefully, but she didn’t know what to say. 

“It’s fine”.

“Please, I’m-”

“Pretend I’m not even here”, Jamie huffed, leaning against the open window. “And try not to kill us in the meantime”. 

  
  


Lunch was awkward. Every attempt made by Dani in starting a conversation ended in a short answer that quickly brushed the subject aside. It hadn’t been intentional the harsh comment, and it soon led to regret inside Dani’s chest, even if she hadn’t voiced it so far. She didn’t understand what had happened. One minute she was fine, and the other it was as if the entire world had blackened out; her ears were clogged and a warm sensation spread through her body, making her limbs and eyelids heavier. She could hear Jamie calling her name, but her voice was muffled and the words unintelligible. And just like that, she went back to herself as another car sped up in their direction. So of course she had panicked and unfairly taken it out on Jamie. 

Walking down the crowded New York street now, Jamie kept her distance, hands inside her pockets. They hadn’t exchanged a word in nearly an hour when the brunette spotted something across the street, heading that way without a warning. Dani walked faster to keep up with her. 

“Hey, Jamie, what-”, she didn’t need to complete the question to know where they were going. 

A tiny but charming flower shop stood in the corner of that avenue, the name  _ Blooming _ written on the entrance. It was beautiful, Dani thought, and it’d been a while since they paused to appreciate some flowers, not since Bly at least. Lilies, daisies and tulips colored the front window, a refreshing view to the grey of the city around the shop. Jamie pushed the front door, Dani right behind her, and they were greeted by a friendly lady in her sixties. 

“Morning, girls”, she greeted them. “Searching for anything specific?” 

“Just looking”, Jamie said, inspecting a yellow flower with black stripes that Dani had never seen before. “It’s a beautiful shop you’ve got”.

“You’re too kind, dear”, the woman came closer while Jamie looked at the arrangement. Dani stood a couple of feet away, glaring at some beautiful sunflowers closer to the window. “These are-”

“Altroemerias”, Jamie cut her. “I know, planted one of these a while back. This color is lovely, innit?”

“You’re a florist?”, the lady looked surprised. 

“A gardener, but I- I’m in a sabbatical year of sorts, I guess”. 

Dani observed the exchange from afar. The lady tried to hide the disappointment with a tight smile. Then, Dani’s gaze lingered on Jamie, the way she squatted to check the Camellias on the floor; her eyes were glowing and a grin spread through her face. The mood changed without them noticing, it turned lighter, even if Jamie still refused to speak to her. 

“How long are you staying in New York?”, the lady asked.

“Just two week, I’m afraid”, Jamie said.

“Oh, that’s a shame. We’ve been looking everywhere for someone to take Jimmy’s place. He used to work here, you see. It wouldn’t be forever, though! Just until we sell the shop after New Year’s eve...” 

Dani thought she saw Jamie hesitate before politely turning down the unspoken offer. It truly was a lovely flower shop, and maybe one day they could even open their own, if Jamie was up for it. Here she was once again, projecting things too far ahead… What ever happened to one day at a time? They spent a few more minutes checking the place before heading to the flat they’d rented for the next couple of weeks. 

  
  


The flat was much more spacious than the tiny rooms they had slept in so far, and they had a kitchen now, which Jamie was thankful for. They walked through the front door still in silence, Dani didn’t even try to engage her in a conversation, knowing it would only humiliate herself further. As Jamie entered the bathroom for a quick shower, Dani sat on the couch, staring at the unplugged tv. It was like being underwater…

The nightmare she’d had a few nights before still haunted her, but Dani was the queen of burying her troubles deep down and pretending nothing happened. When she was left alone, though, the worries would rush back like a tsunami, dragging her down until she could barely breathe. Jamie deserved to know this, it was the least she could do to the woman who had moved across the ocean for her, but Dani couldn’t… If she voiced all these feelings, the dreams with that old trunk, everything would suddenly be too real, they’d exist outside of her head, and that was too much. Jamie deserved, above all, more time. Why couldn’t they have years before having to deal with these problems? Dani felt like she got rid of a ghost just to go crashing into another one. We should have years, she thought, is that too much to ask? 

A voice calling her name pulled Dani out of the trance. 

“Dani!”

Jamie was calling for her with her head sticking out of the bathroom. It was the first time the brunette used her name since the car incident. Dani edged closer to the door carefully, not knowing what to expect.

“So-”, Jamie took a deep breath, biting the inside of her cheeks. “Wanna join me? It’ll save water”.

She was calling a truce. Dani looked at her own feet, half relieved and half embarrassed. Jamie shouldn’t have to call a truce… She accepted nevertheless. 

The clothes were soon discarded as they stepped into the hot water. It was nice, especially after such a stressful day, but Dani couldn’t shove off the tight feeling heavy on her chest. Jamie didn’t seem bothered as her head leaned back and she let the water soothe her brows, hands lazily finger combing the curly hair. 

Sensing she was being watched, Jamie snapped her head to catch Dani in the act. “Turn around”, she said, smirking. The last time she’d said those words, Dani ended up being fingered against the wall. “I’ll scrub your back”, she completed, leaving Dani wondering if she could read her mind. 

The argument from earlier might’ve made this a lot awkward, but it was surprisingly easy; Jamie’s fingers were gentle on her skin, so much so that Dani let her eyes close to enjoy the touch. She was tired, she sighed in realization; the nightmare kept coming back in flashes every night, sometimes only in a choking sensation, but usually the wood chest would also appear. Now, the brunette’s hands traveled from her neck, down to her ribs and to the small of her back, never sliding lower. Dani felt her muscles relax under the hot water as she washed her own hair. 

“Your turn”, Jamie handed her the sponge, turning her back to her.

They hadn’t shared many moments like this, when they could spare the time to take in the sight of each other’s body. Jamie’s back was strong, Dani could see the muscles outlined under her skin and the scar on her right shoulder; her neck was thin and her jaw clenched when Dani planted a kiss to the skin below her ear. 

“Poppins-”

“Sorry”, Dani buried her face into the curve of her neck, holding their bodies flushed together. “I’m sorry… I panicked...”

“Hey, Poppins”, Jamie shut off the shower to turn in her embrace, hands resting flat on the small of Dani’s back. “I know you did”.

“Shouldn’t have screamed at you-”

“Shh, it’s okay”, she brought a hand to rest against her head, her thumb caressing and comforting her. “Can you tell me what happened?”

Dani sniffed, searching for words. “I don’t know, I-- It was like… Daydreaming, maybe. I don’t know…”

“It’s okay, love. We’ll figure it out”.

They had to. While they got dressed and prepared for bed, Jamie quietly prayed for more time, so they could figure out what to do. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the comments and kudos! It really encourages me to keep it going. Hope you enjoy this chapter, things are getting more complicated... See you all next week!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it. Comments are always appreciated!


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